tales from my whitespace

Week 1

2007-01-24T11:01:00.000-08:00

So week 1: back to academia. It hurts today since I've been waiting reclaim my place at this institution. I come back and find myself in this constant sense of breathlessness. Everything is running so fast...I'm falling behind. I currently find myself in front of the computer within the HS 307 wondering who I'm kidding. Watching the deadlines slip by me so fast: I choke on the dust I'm left in.

There's a mouse in my house and the door knob is defective

2007-01-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

I've been stranded in my village for the better part of something like 3 weeks. During this time I've worked al ot and been sick. When I come home I find myself sitting on the floor eye to eye witha my dog next to a pile of socks I should fold. In the background a movie plas as the same white light from the computer washes out the room from the previous 2 days. I leave the internet connected to keep the phone calls to a minimum. I fall asleep waiting for inspiration to tap on my window.

Christmas

2006-12-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

So on Saturday my mom brought home a crazy missing piece of my family picture. My aunt. This woman abandoned the concept of family. She blames my grandparents for the person she is. She abandoned her child. She helped set the foundation for what my family is. Things have been great with her gone and this woman shows up 2 days before christmas expecting someone to come up to Duluth to haul her psycho ass home.

Monday

2006-12-18T15:18:00.000-08:00

Stuck in town just the germs, dog and I. Silence is deafening. Seclusion wouldn't work for me very well.

my post sunday: pre monday Delirium

2006-12-17T22:14:00.000-08:00

I spent the weekend doing the family "bondage" thing. My cousin (my father's nephew) tied the knot. It didn't take much thought. The younger and wiser of my D-tribe have decided even though our parents are stupid doesn't mean we need to be. I sat in between my father and my step-mother. I literally felt like a red-headed stepchild.
Pre-wedding: my mom came home for a day. For more than a year she has become a gypsy. Chasing after bliss: I'm envious. She came home to deal with mail and money. Two "m"s I have not enough of. We went to a christmas party for my grandpa's hired hands. I was feeling my throat get a little scratchy. I passed it off that all the people smoking around me was just screwing with my allergies. This was thursday. Finals came Friday.
Friday: my final was a speech on what are good attention getters. Good attention getters-why me ofcourse. I put a lot of time into my speeches even though it might never of appeared it. Good attention getters are like baiting a hook. You do it right you will have your audience biting. Do it wrong your audience will be distracted. I started feeling a little tired. Didn't have to work at the theatre: I guess I looked just the right amount of pathetic.
Saturday: I had to work early at the theatre. Polar express and the movie was free. We had maybe 20: I guess the village didn't get the memo. I went home and took a nap. I was about to back out on the whole weekend experience but my mom talked me back into it. As this all continued...I was downing juice and popping Vitamin C. As the day progressed-my throat/voice didn't keep up. It was fun to see my cousins...we don't see each except for weddings and funerals and now that most of us are 21: the bar. After a bunch of drinking and dancing...the diehards searched for a bar open till 2. We were up visiting till 4 and then I knew I needed sleep.
Sunday: I woke up tangled in the bedspread with my computer playing in the background. At 7 o'clock: someone was knocking on my door and meowing like a stray. I woke up with no voice and the cold I had been running from finally caught me. I was supposed to see my friend B. I didn't know when she would be home after church and I would get there from the hotel. My contaigion progressed with the miles on the road. I put my car on 34 and just kept driving. I went right on through Osage and Park Rapids and right up to Bemidji. Stopped by the mall played some ski-ball. Gave the tickets to some kid hopped back in my car: only to come home and be sick. The sleep is off and my mind is gone. The time is 2 on Monday morn. I've bannished my germs and myself to Fosston. Wouldn't want to be the carrier monkey that killed christmas. Bartender shot of Nyquil and make it a double.

My basket was too heavy with crazy today

2006-12-11T20:12:00.000-08:00

Tell me a story
of happiness and bliss
of queens and kings
with dreams that float
on butterfly wings

Through a door
in a haze
engulfed
in fearful shadows

Into the mist
lighted loneliness
solitary moon

Drifting

Clue and Clueless

2006-12-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

I'm here...that's about it. I'm working on my scriptwriting while doing my work for Susan and reading my fellow office dweller's thesis proposal. Yep girly...I has myself a copy.
Curently watching Clue and haven't got a clue about how I'm going to continue on with my play. I also have to track down all my scripts prior and send them to Professor C. The clock strikes 12 and I remain in 307 clueless.

Mr. Sandman

2006-12-06T21:40:00.000-08:00

Bring me a dream. Take me away. Yes I would love to be able to just fall asleep and sleep straight through the next day. I'm exhausted and yet wired. The ambien is out of the question. I have Ambien and it can get a person loopy and quite frankly hungover. Now that I've thrown myself on the wagon it's just not that satisfying to get a hangover and not earn it after a night of drunken madness/badness

Wednesday

2006-12-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

I'm so not up for leaving the house today. Lingering around. Last night grandma and I kicked butt in cards and I came out 24 bucks richer. I also got to use my alias and had this older lady who dislikes me join the fun and use her own. (hazel heckleberg) who would have thunk it?

Oh well I better get my ass to school.

Ta Ta

The Door

2006-12-03T07:04:00.001-08:00

A wise woman tells me I crossed through a door to the rest of my life. That's great and all but I feel that this door she talks of is closed and I have no clue what is on the other side.

The beginning

2006-12-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

So I guess I fall to the conformity of my peers. I don't like to think I fall prey to the trends of the internet. But things like Myspace, Facebook, Hi5, are so damn addicting. And Now a blog: a real blog not like the one I have at my myspace.
This weekend I've been decompressing from the time crunch of getting the Exeter Fellowship application in. Like every weekend you will find me behind the counter of the Fosston Theatre. Speaking of I better get ready. More thoughts to come...